


No, you're the idiot

by MiriRainbowitz



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:31:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriRainbowitz/pseuds/MiriRainbowitz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on <a href="http://dancys.tumblr.com/post/138418153880/i-had-this-dream-last-night-where-donald-trump">this post</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	No, you're the idiot

“So you’re saying you think the Founding Fathers would approve of you?” Bill O’Reilly asked.

Donald "A lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive" Trump nodded. “Oh, absolutely. I think – I think, you know, you’ve got Thomas Jefferson, you’ve got George Washington, you’ve got Alexander Hamilton – I think they’d approve of me running for President. I think they’d vote for me.”

The audience cheered. Bill replied, “So if the Founding Fathers were alive today, you’d get their votes?”

“Oh, yeah, without a doubt,” Donald "A lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive" Trump replied.

 

“WHAT?!” Alexander shrieks. “VOTE for _DONALD TRUMP_?! What DRUGS is he on?”

“Calm down, dear,” Eliza says, trying to grasp his arm and pull him down. Her effort is in vain, however, because as soon as she lets go, he’s up on his feet again, shrieking unintelligibly and looking fit to explode.

Eliza figures it’s time to get reinforcements and calls John. They were never really close when they were alive (and then John had died _much_ too young), but here in the afterlife, they’d had all the time in the world to grow close, and if Eliza couldn’t calm Alexander down, John was basically the only other option.

John says he’ll be right over, and Eliza settles down to wait. Sure enough, John enters their house in a short amount of time. By this time, Alexander looks like he’s seconds away from detonating.

“Hey, Alexander –” John starts, but he’s shocked into silence when Alexander just vanishes in a puff of smoke.

It’s shockingly silent for a few seconds, then Eliza and John turn to look at each other. “Is that – new?” John asks.

“Yeah,” Eliza replies. “Where do – oh, God. Look.” Because the tv, which had been showing Donald "A lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive" Trump being interviewed on Fox News, now has people letting out gasps as sparks fly and mist fill the room.

 

Alexander hadn’t realized that appearing back on earth as a ghost would be so dramatic, but hey – it’s not like it was a bad thing, especially given how frightened everyone looked.

“Hey!” he shouted, and everyone turned to look at him. “A quick message for Donald "A lot of people are switching to these really long putters, very unattractive" Trump, you ignorant toupee – I would rather french kiss _Thomas Jefferson_ than vote for you!”

No one made a sound. Alexander grinned at everyone’s stunned faces, bowed, and let himself get pulled back.

When he popped back into the house, John and Eliza were watching the tv and eating popcorn. “How long was I down there?” he asked.

“Long enough that every news station is talking about your surprise appearance,” John said. “Apparently, that was live.”

“So I caused quite a stir,” Alexander replied. “That’s always fun.”

“You say that now, dear, but just you wait,” Eliza said. “This might not end well.”

“I don’t even care,” Alexander replied. “It was worth it.”


End file.
